Lacking Perserverance

As I said in my last post I've been feeling lately that I have often presented a public face that is at odds with my reality.  The more I have been thinking about the more I realise that this in many ways isn't a new thing.

I suspect that I often find mysaelf doing things simply to fill time when I've got no real idea what I really want to be doing with myself.  Some of my time fillers are 'worthy' such as running, learning to play the guitar, others are simply indulgent such as playing computer games.  The list of things that I have done for a while is enormous, as is the list of things that I sometimes say I would like to do but never get round to.

Sometimes I worry that I create the reality of not knowing what I want to do simply by being down on myself about doing things for a while and then giving them up.  It seems to me that other peole have a much clearer idea of what they want to do with themselves but maybe that is just a matter of the perspective from which I am looking at them and myself. 

I guess I need to get to know myself better and work out what I want to do enought to actually make it happen.  Is it sad that I don't know myself at the age of 39 or is that 'normal'?